**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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