I think my fart just growled at me.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize