Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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