I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
