Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize