Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
