i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
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I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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