My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
