i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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