eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize