Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm at about main and main street
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
