I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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