Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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