right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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