I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
