please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
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i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
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I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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