Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
