In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
