these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
