im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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