Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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