He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize