ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
