Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
