you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
