Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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