You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
