if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
