I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
