I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
