i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
