Soap is not a condiment
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize