you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
