So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
