Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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