We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
