the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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