i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
