Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
