Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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