She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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