so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
