I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
