he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.