he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
