Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
