Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize