I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
