just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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