He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
