I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
