Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
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