i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
