week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize