Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
