How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
