I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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