Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
