She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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