Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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