My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dick very happy bro
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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