What a fucking waste of an outfit
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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