Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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